Dear fellow Artist

Ok, so you decided. You want to create something. Don't. Well good for you. Sure?

So... how far can you go to pursue it?

Or to be precise - the question is not how far can you go, but have you got what it takes to stay drifting in a dimmension no human mind should ever conceive for 23 hours only to give it a material manifestation over the 24th hour?

Well if not - don't even start.


If so... you've been warned. Please don't tell me you didn't have it coming.
Let's go. you're about to learn where "the rabbit hole" really leads to. The hard way.

But first...
Can you still do it if I tell you there's no money to it?
Cool.
Can you still do it if I tell you the people closest to you will probably consider you weird or insane?
Nice.
Can you still do it if I tell you... you most likely *will* go insane?
...
Alright.



A muse?
Please.
With all the probability she doesn't even exist. If there is one though, she probably dumped you long time ago. By now she's most likely busy fixing her make-up and wondering how to pay her phone bills rather than beam inspiration towards you.
If she does actually exist she doesn't live in Venice, Barcelona, Paris or some other "wonderland". She's just off New York downtown and the only art she's aware of is some old falling apart painting reproduction hanging on her wall. She didn't buy it - it was there as she moved in. Rather than wield a scroll of infinite wisdom she holds a rolled up bank note. Yup, that's right - she's about to do a line of coke hoping she won't remember the face of the guy she's about to fuck for money to pay the bills.
Wake up. This is real life, no glory to it.

Create your own muse.
Or in this case - put your mind in proper mood. You know best how to, it's your head after all. Make some coffee, play your favourite song, have sex, get dumped, use drugs, beat someone up, beat yourself up - it's your call. All means necessary.

3...2...1...
Take off.
Temporal enlightenment?
Become one with whatever surrounds you. With everything that surrounds you. *Feel* the emotions just the way you did for the first time. Stop controlling things, feel them. Don't just notice data, analyse it. See all this information that has always been there but somehow you always managed to overlook it?
How is it possible that the same movie you've seen like 10 times already and after the 5th go decided there's nothing more you can get out of it, somehow seems totally different once you watch it for the 11th time?

Of course it's not an easy job.
Imagine standing by the river looking in the water. It's a warm summer day, the weather sure is nice. Oh come on, you can do it, you're an artist after all. Artist tend to use their imagination, and you've just got laid or did a line. No big deal.
Anyway, there's the river you stare into. There's a shoal of fish flowing in it. The bastards surely do move fast, all grey. Stop wondering what kind of fish they are, it doesn't matter. All of them are grey but with a quick glimpse you notice there's one goldfish there moving even faster. Grab it.
It's quite a demanding task to pull a fish out of water, especially the right one.
Well, you most likely failed.
Was it even worth going all the way to the riverside only to return empty handed?
Got what it takes to actually return there tomorrow? Get the picture already?

No, wait, stop.
The riverside is like a PG-13 version of the real thing. You're about to go all the way so you best know what you're getting into.

Ever heard the expression "ignorance is bliss"? You too must have this feeling you know/see too much.
Well, you ain't seen nothing yet.

Take a deep breath... close your eyes.
Open your eyes.
...it's like a different realm.
It's not wonderland or anything that could resemble it. No orange cats and Madhatters to it.
It's gonna be a bit harder this time.

Imagine walking a rough landscape where the life has ended. It's all grey. The ground you stand on, the sky up there. No leaves on warped trees around you. You can't tell if it's hot or cold as if temperature never existed. No lights. You sense some movement around you.
Pure fear, that's all there is to it.
Strange creatures circle you in a distance. You can't see their faces (maybe it's better this way) all you can tell is that they are warped just like the dead trees. Back then they were exactly like you - seeking thrills in places they shouldn't be or simpy too curious. They just didn't manage to go back on time. Oh yeah, going back.
There's a door behind you. It doesn't lead anywhere and it seems as if it was suspended slightly above the ground. Don't even think about it - it's locked. Besides you've seen too much anyway.
Call it whatever you want - wasteland, hell, outworld, abyss. It doesn't have a proper name so anything would do. Anyway, you don't have much time. There's a distant shining point on the horizon. Dash towards it as quick as possible, you're still holding your breath. Don't think about pain, strain you cause to your muscles or the wraiths. Maybe they are getting closer? They must sense the warmth you emit... don't think about it. Don't hesitate. Don't look back. DON'T!

Finally as you can't hold anymore, you inhale. You feel as if breathing fire, acid, sulfur. You name it. It was a wrong idea but hey - you're the one who decided to "create something". How foolish. Don't inhale again, you feel as if you moved a bit slower now.
You finally make it to the bright point. There's a treasure chest which you open without thinking twice...You are speechless. What you just stare at was never meant to be looked at by ordinary man.

A pearl, a perfect diamond, the graal, again you name it. They all look like an eyesore compared to what you've just seen.
Pure Beauty.
The way you perceive it not the way I or someone tell you to.

Time stops now. You just keep staring at it. The idea of an object staring at you gives you thrills. You could stay there forever... no. The abyss. The wraiths. The doors!
Once you lay your hand on it you hear a loud screech behind you. The doors are open! Grab it and get back there!
You run even faster clinging the undefined object as tight as possible. Your lungs must be burning by now. Searing pain hits every muscle in your body. You don't sweat though. The wraiths actually are getting closer, you steer clear of them at all costs. You jump over dead roots that seem to be reaching for you, the whole *land* seems to do that. You finally make it to the door. Everything around you desperately tries to grab at least your clothes, but you're too strong. Or maybe too scared. One final leap... you made it.
Or did you...?

Phew. That was close...
You are back in your room, sitting in front of your desk, on your sofa, wherever you started. Your blood pressure must be doubled by now. Mine was just of writing about it.

Surprisingly enough, your hand is empty.
.
.
.
Your head is not.

There you go.
If you think it wasn't worth it I got some bad news for you - you will be going back there again. And again. And again...
Like it or not, it's like an addiction.
You will risk your health, sanity, even life at some point - not even in order to finally get it - just to glimpse the unthinkable.
Not the way you get addicted to drugs, sex or chocolate. You can't fight it. The volume of everything around you seems to be turned down now... until you see it again, gently stroke it.

Congratulations. Now you know.
This is art.