Surprisingly enough I got a bit depressed today. Maybe even a bit more than just a bit. Browsing my gallery out of boredom (boredom my ass, the assessment is in two days, just can't look at Illustrator anymore) I realised a terrible thing : I have not moved at all.

Around a year ago when I first started to fool around with all the abstract-uber-thingies i found by chance on someone's page (don't even remember now) the gate to the digital world literally opened. Got really into it - downloading brushes, the great search for tutorials etc. I could easily say I learnt everything on my own. No tutor to tell me what to do next, no classmate to compare myself to. And Now that I look at these works well there's much to be proud of, really. And the funniest thing is that I used to work on a falling apart rig with screen incapable of displaying the colors properly (and constantly blurred causing my eyes to pop out after a few hours). I had access to scanner usually around once a week, had to somehow split my time between learning ps tricks and learning the usual suspects - the final year is said to be pain and it most certainly is correct. But I did, it worked. I'd sit for hours, very often day after day to produce something for my upcoming portfolio and freak out at the sole thought of it being assessed. Then there goes the longest holidays, then there's the big thing.

When I started my 'higher education' I was so excited about all that - finally someone to compare myself to, finally someone to lead the way properly. Everything was there, no need to bother buddies, I finally got access to the beloved tablet. The briefs were to some extent challenging, but always seemed easy after a reread or two, since I knew what PS is all about months before I got a slight edge over most of the class. It got my As, maybe some new experience. But now that it is easier and I am required to do that instead of doing it on my own I just don't feel like it. And now looking at my previous 20-30 works : bollocks, they are not even equal, they are worse.

That made me think if I'm in the right place now. One of the 'rotips' about designing I came across the other day is : if you want to be good you gotta love what you're doing. Ironical as it seems, getting close to what I supposedly love, actually sent me further away.

And that on the other hand pushes me to one fine sentence from a certain essay : ' the most interesting people I know didn't know what to do at age of 22. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds still don't.'. That's probably the first time I'm actually considering something else, but maybe I just think too much today.
Well, if you made it to the end, that's the essay.
[link]




I give the clubs mentioned below the full permission to display my works.

it's not me, it's the peer pressure : <


Leave an I-wanna-play comment and I'll...

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or move you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavour of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favourite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favourite thing about you.
10. If you play, you MUST post this in yours.

Guess it actually needs updating every now and then

My big-time holidays start tomorrow - off to Croatia for a week with a scout team (reasonable doubt if i'll have the chance to fool around the whole day on the beach doing just nothing ) to see if we can manage with as little as possible earning with guitars only. We better do ^^

Afterwards it leaves around 5 days to patch everything up and... off to ireland for the rest of the summer. A risky decission considering all the higher education problems (especially scotland - i get thrills at the sole thought of it) but i think i'd really regret if i didn't try.
I'd say it's a gamble as there's nothing certain apart from the apartment so wont mind you keeping fingers crossed

So, basically this is it - i probably won't be here for long, not to mention uploading anything new (and pains me the most 'cause i think i have a cool idea right now). Gosh, when i think how many MASH episodes I will miss...

Anyway to all the artist (and photographers, of course ) whom i support and who support me - keep up the good work, don't let your creativity down and make sure you don't get spoiled while I am away.



upcoming :
Bloodlust
5:30


See you the next life i guess(if you get some, that is )!


100 challenge
[link]
brushes credits
[link]

I give the clubs mentioned below the full permission to display my works.

!


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The challenge:

100 drawings, each with a seperate theme.

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The rules:

1.) Make 100 pictures; each picture having a theme listed below. Each picture should have only ONE theme for it to count.

2.) No time limit, so have fun.

3.) The main picture should be drawn; people are allowed to use paint programs and photoshop to create the pic.
a.) Works should be of your own artistic ability. You may not edit photos, or break any other rules set out in the dA etiquette policy. Your pictures can be anything from sketches and doodles to great master pieces. Just have fun with it.

4.) The list below is to be placed somewhere in your journal for others to see that:
a.)You are in the challenge,
b.)What you have completed.

5.) Make sure to update the list, check off what's been done and make a link to the finished work.

6.) In the comments for your artwork, note if it is part of the list and what ONE theme it is.

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THE LIST:

001. Introduction
002. Love
003. Light Done
004. Dark
005. Seeking Solace
006. Break Away
007. Heaven Done
008. Innocence
009. Drive
010. Breathe Again
011. Memory Done
012. Insanity Done
013. Misfortune
014. Smile Done
015. Silence Done
016. Questioning Done
017. Blood
018. Rainbow Done
019. Gray Done
020. Fortitude
021. Vacation
022. Mother Nature Done
023. Cat
024. No Time
025. Trouble Lurking
026. Tears
027. Foreign
028. Sorrow Done
029. Happiness Done
030. Under the Rain
031. Flowers Done
032. Night
033. Expectations
034. Stars
035. Hold My Hand
036. Precious Treasure
037. Eyes
038. Abandoned
039. Dreams Done
040. Rated Done
041. Teamwork
042. Standing Still
043. Dying
044. Two Roads
045. Illusion Done
046. Family
047. Creation Done
048. Childhood
049. Stripes
050. Breaking the Rules Done
051. Sport
052. Deep in Thought Done
053. Keeping a Secret
054. Tower Done
055. Waiting
056. Danger Ahead Done
057. Sacrifice
058. Kick in the Head
059. No Way Out
060. Rejection
061. Fairy Tale
062. MagicDone
063. Do Not Disturb
064. Multitasking
065. Horror
066. Traps
067. Playing the Melody
068. Hero Done
069. Annoyance
070. 67%
071. Obsession
072. Mischief Managed
073. I Can't Done Done
074. Are You Challenging Me? Done
075. Mirror
076. Broken Pieces
077. Test
078. Drink
079. Starvation
080. Words Done
081. Pen and Paper
082. Can You Hear Me?
083. Heal
084. Out Cold
085. Spiral Done
086. Seeing Red Done
087. Food
088. Pain
089. Through the Fire Done
090. Triangle Done
091. Drowning
092. All That I Have Done
093. Give Up
094. Last Hope
095. Advertisement Done
096. In the Storm
097. Safety First
098. Puzzle
099. Solitude Done
100. Relaxation Done

It's not that I feel overconfident, more like quite the opposite; but I think I need something to stimulate me so that i move forward and catch up with certain people . Slowly as it is, but surely as I want it to be. So, to cut it short - there it is, the 100 challenge!
Wish me luck. Or at least some patience

34/100 .

1st. - DEC 2007
last - OCT 2008


I give the clubs mentioned below the full permission to display my works.

Right, got tagged by - hope this avatar thing works

The rules:
*Each person tagged must post 8 random (hopefully interesting) facts about themselves
*Tags should write a journal of these facts
*At the end of the post 8 more bloggers are tagged and named
*Go to their page and leave a comment telling them that they're tagged.


Hm... try to make it as interesting as possible, here it goes:

1. I have no worries - I entrust all my problems to God and thus I'm always in a good mood except when someone does/says something so stupid that even I feel disconcerted. Well, it happens sometimes with certain people around

2. I hate Emo (how can you be a music genre btw?) people and anyone who thinks life is too cruel/evil/sad/tough/whatever to live it. Every time you slash this goddamn forearm of yours, think of all the people who didn't have the choice of life and death . If you are any of above and i know you, better not mention it. If not, don't worry - there's still plenty of ways to lose my respect

3. I have really wicked sense of humour and hardly anyone understands it. The same goes for my taste and values.

4. I don't fancy cars, tech-no-logical achievements (xcept the PC hardware once in a couple years, when my rig needs updating) and violence, on the other hand, i'm into arts, music and have compassion - the hell of a man I am

5. I don't like books, and I avoid them as much as I can. Still, I believe there are thousands of different ways of obtaining knowledge and getting smart. Smart enough?

6. There are really few people to whom I confess and entrust my secrets to (being sober, ofc). If you're among them, you may (or even should) feel honoured

7. I like playing stupid - others feel more comfortable if they think they're the smartest.

8. And finally - I don't know if I can love anyone truly anymore.


right... that was tough. (do I copy this as well?)


I tag this to... so so few interesting ppl I know



Would have tagged a couple more, but they don't have da account. (sorry for all the mistakes, its 2am)